Home Again
by artemis lecter
Summary: TAkes place near the end of 'New Moon'. What was Edward thinking when he, Bella, and the rest of his family got back to Forks? Edward POV.


Disclaimer: I **wish** I owned 'New Moon'. To an extent, I have used many lines that appear in the book; these all belong to Stephanie Meyer.

A/N: Told from Edward's POV. **MAJOR** 'New Moon' spoilers. Please review!!

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Bella was still asleep when we got to Charlie's house. She must have been exhausted, having rescued me from Italy and stayed up all night. I believed her when she said that if she fell asleep she would have nightmares; if I could sleep, I think I might have had bad dreams about what had happened in Volterra as well. I never meant for her to see that, and I felt unbelievably guilty that my foolishness had made her leave home in order to save me. I just didn't know how things were going to go now. What if she had gotten over me in the time that I had been away? I had meant for her to be able to live a normal life-- had she attempted to do so? Granted, getting mixed up with werewolves and diving off cliffs wasn't necessarily what I would call **normal** for Bella, but maybe she had finally gotten over me. 

I picked Bella up and started carrying her into the house. I knew she had woken up, although she didn't seem capable of opening her eyes just yet. From inside the house, I could hear Charlie's thoughts, and I heard him moving around, heading for the door.

_What is he thinking?_ Charlie's 'voice' sounded furious. _He sure has got a lot of nerve. . . _Then he shouted Bella's name, charging out the front door of the small house like a bull when he saw her limp form in my arms.

"Charlie," Bella mumbled, still half-asleep. I soothed her; I didn't want her to have to deal with any more today. Inside the car, I heard Rosalie and Emmett's thoughts of Charlie, both wondering if he was going to try to attack me. He certainly looked like he was angry enough to do so at the moment.

_Do you need some help?_ Emmett asked mentally, uncertain. I carefully, slowly, shook my head. I could handle Charlie . . . although all of his thoughts were certainly well- deserved.

"I can't believe you have the nerve to show your face here," Charlie seethed, much closer now. _After everything he put her through . . . she was practically catatonic when he left ._ I winced slightly at his thoughts. Apparently, my leaving Bella had done just about nothing to help her. Guilt washed over me again; I should have known Bella better. I knew that if she had left me the way I had left her, so suddenly, I would have fallen apart. Hell, I had practically died when I had left her. My own family could hardly stand to be around me, I was so miserable. I left to track down Victoria after awhile, partly because I knew that she needed to be dealt with and partially because I needed to get away from my mediocre existence. Alice told me on a daily basis that I should just go back to Bella, that she cared about me so much that she might eventually do something drastic. I remained stubborn. Esme sided with Alice, saying that I would be happier if I came back to Forks.

"Stop it, Dad," I heard Bella groan at Charlie, who didn't seem to hear her. Charlie demanded to know what was wrong with her. _Did he hurt her?_ I was slightly indignant that he could think that I could ever hurt Bella.

"She's just very tired, Charlie. Please let her rest," I said, trying to stay quiet to allow Bella to fall back asleep. I continued walking toward the house.

Charlie really lost his temper with me then. _Who does he think he is?_ he thought. "Don't you tell me what to do! Give her to me, get your hands off her!" he shouted, causing Bella's heart rate to speed up in fright. I sighed slightly, trying to pass Bella over into her father's arms. I could feel Bella clinging to me, as if she would die if she let go of me.

"Cut it out, Dad," Bella said. Charlie heard her this time. "Be mad at **me**."

"You bet I will be," Charlie said. I truly felt bad for Bella; it was my fault she was in trouble in the first place. "Get inside," he told her.

"'Kay. Let me down," Bella told me, sighing. I carefully set her on her feet. She tried to take a step, but started to fall to the ground. I quickly reached for her, grabbing her by the arms and holding her upright. I asked Charlie that I be allowed to take Bella upstairs, promising to leave immediately afterward.

"No," I heard Bella cry. I heard the panic in her voice, and I was somewhat glad that she didn't want me to leave. Maybe she didn't hate me for leaving her after all.

I leaned down slightly. "I won't be far," I whispered.

I continued walking into the house, ignoring Charlie's sputtering to find the words to yell at me some more. Bella only kept her eyes open until we got to the foot of the stairs, when exhaustion overcame her. I crept up the stairs quickly, able to see perfectly in the darkness. She was still clutching my shirt when I set her down onto the bed. I crept out of the room, shutting the door.

Charlie was waiting for me in the hall. His face was puce, and he looked like he had finally found the words to continue his shouting.

"What makes you think," he said, voice shaking in fury, "that you can just come back here and do this to her again?" In his mind, I saw Bella-- but not the Bella I was used to. The Bella I saw looked lifeless. She had no color in her cheeks, and she looked almost sick-- not like she hadn't been taking care of herself, because she didn't look any thinner, but she looked like someone who had just witnessed the death of a close friend or family member. I felt my stomach plummet when I realized that **I** had done that to her.

I continued to look at Charlie's mind, searching for any other indication as to how Bella was now. Charlie was imagining Bella as she was after I left. I saw her sitting at a table, eyes completely blank, with food in front of her that she wasn't eating. A second later I saw her throwing her clothes around, screaming at Charlie and Renee and sobbing uncontrollably.

At that point, I tuned his thoughts out. I didn't think I could handle any more.

I sighed, trying to figure out what to say to Bella's father. "I know . . ." I broke off, at a loss for words for once. "I hurt her," I started again. I know that."

"You didn't just hurt her, you tore her apart," Charlie said furiously. "I don't ever want to see you walk through my door again, do you understand me? I'm not letting you hurt my daughter again." He said it in such a way that it was obvious the discussion was closed. I let it go, for now. I would win his trust, not to mention Bella's, eventually. I only hoped Bella could be more forgiving than Charlie was.

I nodded once. "Goodnight," I said, walking around Charlie to get to the front door. I walked out to the car, aware that Charlie was staring at my retreating back. I got in the car and pulled out of the driveway, waiting until I was well out of sight of Charlie before I accelerated to the speed I normal speed. Neither Rosalie nor Emmett said anything for a moment.

"You okay, man?" Emmett asked. I snorted; I was far from being okay. It hurt, that I had caused Bella and Charlie so much pain. I couldn't even be angry with Charlie for the way he treated me-- I certainly deserved it. Emmett seemed to understand.

Rosalie gazed out the window, not volunteering anything. I tried not to listen to anything she was thinking, to no avail.

_Can't believe I was so stupid_, she thought bitterly. _Almost got him killed._ I blocked Rosalie's thoughts out then, knowing she wouldn't want me hearing this. I concentrated instead on driving through the dark trees.

A few minutes later we pulled up to the house. We all ran into the house, where Alice, Jasper, Carlisle, and Esme were sitting, waiting for us.

"Sorry it took so long," I said. Esme nodded, understanding. She came over and wrapped her arms around me again; I could tell she had mostly forgiven me for my actions the last few months. Alice and Jasper were both looking at me with pity. Carlisle looked at me directly.

_You're going back to see Bella later, right?_ I nodded slightly. "Charlie banned me from the house," I said aloud. None of my family members seemed surprised.

"He's just trying to look out for Bella," Alice said. I knew this.

Everyone was quiet for the moment, before Carlisle stood up.

"Well, I want to get some work done sometime this decade," he said, gesturing upstairs to his office. I nodded.

"I had better go; I promised Bella I would be there. I plan on being there for awhile." Again, no one seemed surprised; on the contrary, Alice looked pleased that I was finally giving in to what I wanted. I hugged Esme one more time, turning and walking out the door.

I had only taken a few steps when I heard someone behind me. _Wait a second, Edward._ Rosalie.

I turned around, regarding my 'sister' with what I hoped was a caring face. I wasn't angry with her anymore, really; I had only been angry with her for the fact that Bella had gotten dragged into it, almost getting killed. Rosalie looked nervous, as though she expected me to shout at her. I felt bad.

"Look," she started, not quite able to meet my eyes. "I'm really sorry-- for everything. Not just for Volterra, but for how I treated Bella. You know why," she added, looking me in the eyes finally. I nodded; I had always understood why she detested Bella so much. Rosalie would have given anything to trade places with Bella, with any human.

I just wanted to say that I really am sorry. I really owe Bella, too. Any way that I can make it up to you . . ." she broke off, running out of steam. She stood there awkwardly, not knowing what to say. I didn't think I had ever heard her apologize to me before. I realized then that I really did forgive her, just like I knew that Bella had, also.

"You're forgiven, Rose. And you've already heard Bella say the same-- she just doesn't want you to hate her anymore." Rosalie looked at the ground, slightly ashamed of herself. She really wasn't a bad person.

"Well," she said, "I'd better go; Emmett's waiting on me." She paused for a moment. "We all really missed you," she said. "You already seem much happier."

I nodded. I supposed she was right. Knowing that Bella wasn't far away had comforted me, made me stronger. I smiled a little, then walked forward and embraced Rosalie. She seemed surprised at first (she and I didn't hug too often) but soon warmed up to it. We broke apart, and she turned and headed back into the house. I turned and broke into a run, heading toward Bella's house.

I was there in less than a minute. I climbed up the wall to Bella's window, opening it and sliding through effortlessly. Charlie had gone to work by now; it was around nine in the morning. I sat down in the rocking chair near Bella's bed, staring at her sleeping form. I was eager for her to wake up; we certainly had a lot to talk about-- not that discussing these things would be simple, but it would certainly put my mind at ease.

As I looked around Bella's bedroom, I felt a sense of calm. I hadn't felt truly at ease for eight months. I finally felt like I was home.


End file.
